Things are always free falling from unbelievably good to shockingly terrible in the space of a heartbeat, and I have so much that I should be happy about but I can’t even describe how all over the place my moods are lately. I bought an amazing laptop, I got my tragus pierced like I have wanted for so long and it looks so good, I started a beauty blog, I have been pampered all over and I had the most amazing dinner with the girls yesterday. I don’t feel alone like I have for so long, and I don’t feel weak or tired. I just feel very fed up, but I can’t even put my finger on what I am fed up about.
Ever since I was little my ultimate dream was to be a grown up lady who worked hard and spent her money on beautiful things; to be a personally and financially independent adult. And now I have it, and I love it, but it’s just not quite enough. Sometimes life is so funny like that; You have absolutely no idea where you want your life to be, you just know forsurethat you don’t want to be where you are right now.
“I am an ocean, I am the sea,
There is a world inside of me.
Lost in the abyss, drowned in the deep,
No set of lungs could salvage me.
Save yourself, save your breath,
The tides too strong, you’ll catch your death.
So breathe for me, just breathe.”
Title: Thinking About You
Artist: Frank Ocean
Maybe young women don’t wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case of you are wondering, of course you can have it all. What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.